He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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