Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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