Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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