also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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