Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
