omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
PANTIES FOUND
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