She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
