Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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