the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
