I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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