I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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