you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
