I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
