he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
