I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
