You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
