your room smells of hookers.
And success
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We are all done wearing pants today
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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