The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
