just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
