WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
