i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
