Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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