wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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