So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
