I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
