I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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