As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
