Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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