I don't usually arrange sex via text message
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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