so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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