Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
