It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I FOUND THE LEGS
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
