$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
