$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
