he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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