I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
