Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
