I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
