Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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