so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
