somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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