Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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