Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
