i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
