How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
