it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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