don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
