Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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