Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
