dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
farters have to be the big spoon...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
