just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
