Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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